Visit to Orphanage

We visited Grace's orphanage today. As soon as we entered the orphanage, Grace began to tense up. It was clear she was uncomfortable being there. When we were walking down the hall, one of the social workers saw her and was very excited to see her. She was speaking to her in Chinese and she held out her arms and asked her to come to her. Grace shook her head no and grabbed a hold of me with all of her strength. I felt bad for the social worker, but was very happy that she clearly wanted to stay with me. I felt bad for Grace too because it was clear she was afraid we were going to leave her at the orphanage. I told her Mommy and Daddy will never leave her. I hope one day soon she will be able to believe deep in her heart that it is true and that she will completely trust us and know we will always be there for her. This is our journey of adoption and we are at the very beginning. There are many steps along the way to bonding and attachment and we will do everything we can to ensure Tiffany Grace is securely attached to us and has no lingering fears of abandonment.


As we toured the facility, Grace continued to cling to Joe and me. When we went into the office to meet with the director and three of the social workers (the picture to the right shows the director in the white coat and the three females are the social workers), they kept trying to get her to come to them and she wouldn't. They asked her over and over who was Ma Ma and who was Daddy. Each time they were amazed when she pointed to Joe and I.


The facility was very clean and very nice. The staff was clearly kind and loving. I am so grateful to them for taking such good care of my little girl. Having said that, I am so glad she never has to be in an orphanage again for the rest of her life. Most of the children at the facility are severely disabled. It broke my heart to see all these children who would most likely never be adopted. I'm glad at least that it is a very good facility with a devoted staff.


Grace's best friend, who is completely deaf, was very sad to see Grace leave. She started crying when she said goodbye to her friend. The picture to the right shows us with Grace's Aunties in the room where she lived. Her best friend is the little girl standing up near Grace.


When we went to leave, Grace's social worker began to cry too. It was so special to us to see how much she loved our daughter. They stood at the curb waiving goodbye as our car rolled down the street. None of them attempted to walk away until our taxi was out of sight. From the bottom of our heart we give thanks to the staff and volunteers at the Xining Social Welfare Institute. Xie Xie.


When we returned to the hotel we decided to take the girls to the park across the street from the hotel. Unfortunately, it is just a public gathering place and not really a park for children. So, we decided to just walk on to the supermarket for water. It was funny how much more comfortable we were this time. After all, we'd been there before and that little sense of familiarity made all the difference.


After lunch, we decided to go for another walk. We had no destination in mind, but thought we would just explore. We ended up stumbling upon a fresh market in the middle of town. It was about four city blocks long and was comprised of numerous little stalls selling raw meat, cooked meat, vegetables, fruits, baked goods, sundries and just about anything else you can think of to buy. The fruits and vegetables looked so good. The fresh ginger was amazing looking. So much better looking than what we find in the U.S. The lemongrass was green and soft and fragrant. It was so superior to what we have at home that you can't really think of them as the same thing. Plus we saw either a zucchini or cucumber (we can't be sure which it was) the size of a very large watermelon (I mean the biggest watermelon you can imagine). It was amazing and a little scary at the same time when you consider what they would have to do to produce a vegetable of that magnitude. We saw some fresh wafer cookies for sale and had to buy them. The lady just starting putting them in the bag and I said to Donna, "well I guess we'll just take whatever she gives us." Then she stands up from behind the counter, lifts up a bag almost as large as a big watermelon and says, "okay?" At least that's what we guess she said because she said it in Mandarin. We laughed and said, "okay, how much?" Then she says "4 yuan." Which is roughly 65 cents in U.S. dollars. What a bargain, right? We'd probably get sick if we tried to eat them all, but it was a good deal.


We had an early dinner and are getting Katrina and Grace to bed early tonight. Hopefully we'll all finally get a normal nights sleep. We'll see . . .

Trip to Kumbum Monastery

Today we took a tour to Kumbum (Taer Si) Monastery. It is essentially the only noteworthy sight near Xining. Having said that, I must make clear that it was breathtaking. It is set in a hillside in a small village town. It is one of the six largest Geluk (Yellow Hat) monasteries in the world. The Kumbum was established in 1560 to mark the birthplace of Tsongkapa, founder of the Geluk School of Buddhaism.

While we admired the architectural beauty, the locals admired us. We weren't counting, but if I had to guess I would say our photos was taken several hundred times. We tried to get some of the monks to take a picture with us, but they did not want to do that. They didn't mind if you took their picture, but they didn't want to be in one with us. The temple was very moving spiritually, as were the people. We were a little surprised to see monks with cell phones and large satellite dishes in front of the temples. Modern conveniences have reach even the smallest Chinese towns.

After our tour of the temple we returned to the hotel and had lunch. By this point in the trip, we are all missing familiar foods. So we decided to give the hotel western style restaurant a chance. We ordered pizza, pasta, french fries and a club sandwich for all of us. We choose vegetable pizza and a meatless pasta sauce (this seemed the safest choice) and all of it was pretty good. In fact, we kept saying how good it all was. I pointed out that these same items in the U.S. would only taste okay, but given our American food deprivation they tasted delicious.

We went upstairs and took a nap. We must have been pretty tired (we still haven't adjusted to the time change) because we took a four hour nap . . . all of us. This further threw off our sleeping schedules, so I'm not sure we are ever going to adjust. As you can see, it was a pretty uneventful day.

Adoption Day!

Today was our official adoption today. Tiffany Grace is now legally our daughter under Chinese law. Now we need to wait a few more days to get her Chinese passport so that we can travel with her to Guangzhou, China. While in Guangzhou, we will complete the paperwork with the U.S. Embassy so that the United States recognizes our adoption and as a result Tiffany Grace will be a full U.S. citizen once we land on U.S. soil (September 19). We leave Xining this Saturday and will be in Guangzhou for another 6 days. We will miss the nice cool weather in Xining. The weather forecast for Guangzhou is 95+ every day during our stay (it will feel like we are back in Houston). The picture to the right shows us holding our official Chinese adoption certificate.

While we were waiting in the office for the completion of our adoption paperwork, Grace was laughing and playing and hamming it up. They couldn't believe how well she was doing and how clearly happy she was. When she put on her sunglasses the registrar said "she is too cool." When Joe came into the room (he came in after us because he had to go back to the hotel to pick up our gifts for the notary and registrar that we forgot to bring) Grace starting smiling and laughing. They couldn't believe it. Then when she kept calling me Ma Ma, they were even more amazed. To tell you the truth, we are equally amazed. I'm sure she will have many tough times ahead, but this part has gone unbelievably smooth. Grace is such an amazingly resilient child. She has been through so much in her short life, including many surgeries and many living

arrangement transitions. Even so, it is nothing short of a miracle how well she has warmed to us in such a short time.

It was raining all day, so we decided to stay around the Hotel. First we made a stop at the grocery store for milk for the girls (they like it, Joe and I thought it tasted weird). We also picked up some children's gifts to bring with us to the orphanage when we visit on Thursday. Grace wouldn't let us leave the snack isle until we bought her some orion pies. They are essentially moon pies, but MUCH better (softer and fresher tasting). I really liked them but they are 550 calories for a tiny little snack cake. I thought only Americans had such high calorie, low nutrition snacks. I guess we've rubbed off on the rest of the world.

While Grace took a nap, Donna and I decided to go to the Spa for a massage. Luckily, our guide went with us to make the appointment. Even with her fluent Mandarin skills, it took 30 minutes to understand what was offered and how the service would be performed. When they said we had to pay for a bath in order to get the massage I thought it was normal, but wanted to confirm that the bath was private. Through our interpreter, the spa host said it was not private. Well, Donna and I thought we had a deal breaker right there. No public baths for us. We asked if we could shower in our room and they said no. Before giving up, I asked if I could see where we would shower. After all, the spa was pretty much empty. She took us back and it was totally normal showers with privacy curtains. We then sought to confirm that they would provide us with robes, because we had to walk through a large room with many workers (male and female) to get to the treatment rooms. It took awhile, but we were relatively certain we would be provided with something to wear.

After our shower, they did indeed bring us clothing and paper underwear. I was happy to see these items. When I went to put on the underwear they didn't get very far. I starting laughing and said, "I must have stepped into them wrong." They were VERY small. I did get them on, thank god I've lost a lot of weight. If I were my old size, I wouldn't have gotten them past the knee. My niece and I were laughing so hard we were crying. She said, "You think they have a large?" I said, "I don't think many Americans come in here." I was pretty sure the panties were cutting off my circulation, but we were determined to get the massage.

We opted to have our massages done in the same room, in case anything bizarre happened. That way we'd have a witness. Did I mention that we chose the Thailand massage? While there were no laws broken during the treatment, we did feel like we had done a few karma sutra positions without being "completely" violated. Let me just say, this massage requires that you are extremely flexible and not very shy. I liked the part where they walked on my back the best. However, it occurred to me that they required that I take a shower first and then had some woman rub her feet all over me. I certainly hope they required her to shower first.

In the end, it was another adventure filled day in China with lots of laughs and much joy.

Gotcha Day!

We finally have her and we are never letting her go. Grace (a.k.a. Gracie) is completely inspiring, totally heartwarming, and absorbingly funny. We thought we hit the jackpot with Katrina and weren't in a karmic position to ask for too much the second time around, but boy did we get more than we could every have dreamed of in little Gracie. It's official, we have won the jackpot twice, so no more wasted money on lottery tickets for me (that really would be greedy to want anything ever again for I have all that I'll ever need in Katrina and Tiffany Grace).

I was so anxious this morning when we arrived at the meeting office. Our guide had us there early, so we had to wait for 20 minutes (it seemed like much longer). When I heard voices in the hall I anxiously said, "is that her?" Minutes later she came toddling into the waiting room. My heart literally expanded three times in a "good" Grinch-like fashion and it was love at first sight. She was nervous at first, but they said she loves to snack so try to feed her. I said, "well it's obvious she's my child." I pulled out the snacks and that was all it took. The next thing you know, she was sitting in my lap munching cheerios and organic fruit bars (good thing I brought snacks). After a few photos the social worker (Ida) told Gracie that she was going to leave and asked her if it was okay, she nodded yes and that was it. No tears at all. Amazing, I know.

We brought her back to the hotel where we had lunch, which was an experience. One would think the menu choices (braised dog, seared frogs and turtle connective tissue -- prepared many ways -- I am not making this up) and the language barrier would be the most adventurous portion of the meal, but Gracie won that honor hands down. She loves to explore everything and wants to taste and touch it all. She loves all veggies (thanks to the Choos for exposing her to so many vegetables and fruits)! I hardly got to eat because every few seconds she was saying "Ma Ma" and pointing at some other vegetable she wanted me to feed her.

After lunch we ventured outside (no chance of a nap, but we tried). Gracie loves to be on the go. We went to a grocery store and a nice department store. The department store had a great play section for the children and Katrina and Grace had a blast playing in it. They played in the ball pit, slid down the slide, jumped on the trampoline and climbed up and down the stairs. Katrina's socks were black and I did a great impersonation of a mother without germ phobias.

After shopping we returned back to the hotel room. We were finally able to get Grace to take a nap (we all took a nap . . . I was tired from lack of sleep since we arrived). She looked precious in her crib with all the soft stuffed animals and silky blankets and pillows we brought from home.

Later we watched some of Grace's Hi Five videos (a gift from the Choos), which she absolutely adores. She was so happy watching them laughing and smiling the whole time. Then we played with all her new toys and she seemed to love all of them. She has the best belly laugh you will ever hear. I have added a video clip where she is laughing at Katrina pretending to hit Joe on the head and Joe acting very silly in response.

This is a picture of Grace and Katrina holding hands on the bus ride back to the hotel after our initial meeting. Isn't it priceless?

After play time we had dinner in the room. Grace once again ate very well and seemed to like most everything. She did keep interrupting her meal to walk around the room to gather various toys. She was so comfortable just toddling around getting whatever she wanted. She's very independent in a good way.

When we finished dinner it was bath time, which I was very nervous about given my being forewarned by the Choos and Grace's social worker that she hates baths. So, I had Katrina go in the tub with her and I pulled out the bath crayons (you can color on the tub and walls) and Katrina showed her how to do it. She jumped happily into the tub and started coloring her heart out. She splashed and laughed and didn't even mind having her hair washed (good thing I brought the special bath bucket which prevents water from going into her face). Not a single tear was shed. What a relief.

With her bath over, we got ready for bed. We applied lotion and powder, brushed her teeth and blow dried her hair. Her hair is so cute. It's curly! I love it. I think it is so special and totally unique just like her. After that it was bed time. It took her a little while to fall asleep, but she never cried she just chattered away in her crib saying all kinds of things. Just talking about her day and her new family I guess. The babble sounded happy, so I'm taking that as a good sign.

An Amazing Day!

Today, we had the privilege and honor to meet Tiffany Grace's Foster Family . . . the Choo family. Words are inadequate to describe the experience. It was as if we discovered we had a whole new family that we never knew. Better yet, it felt as if our hearts always knew they were our family it just took a little longer for the universe to bring us all together. The catalyst for the expansion of our family is now a blessing times four. When we return we are bringing with us four new members of our family . . . Tiffany Grace, Clarissa Choo, Wai How Choo, and Gwyneth Choo. One will physically make the trip home and the other three will be carried closely and warmly in our hearts forever.

On the far left is Alex, next to him is Teresa, then Gwyneth, Carol and Wai How. In front of the Carol and Alex's daughters and Katrina sitting in her new Jiejie's (Mandarin for older sister) lap.

Also, we met Teresa Woo, Alex, Carol, and their two daughters. Alex and Carol are friends of the Choos and their daughters were some of Tiffany Grace's playmates. Teresa Woo is a beautiful soul who founded and runs Ping An Medical Foster Home. This is a private organization that raises funds for surgical procedures for orphans and cares for them during their treatments. Tiffany Grace spent one year with Teresa and one year with the Choos. They gave us photo albums and photo CDs of their time with Tiffany Grace. What amazing gifts to receive. It is clear from the photos and the many stories they shared with us that they love our daughter very much and they took wonderful care of her while she waiting for us . . . her forever family. In the end, that is the true gift they gave us that we will continue to receive and know for all our lives. They gave unconditional love to our daughter and taught her how to give and receive love. For this I can never stop thanking them. I can tell you with all my heart, Katrina, Joe and I truly love Wai How, Gwyneth, Clarissa and Teresa.

We learned several things from Tiffany Grace's second family all of which confirmed for me the true power of God and the power of prayer. We found so many things that seemed to fit so perfectly between our two families. The most amazing was when Wai How asked us what we were going to call He Xinyi. We said her name was always Grace because we believed it was only by the grace of God that she came to us. Then we told them that we added Tiffany when my beloved niece Tiffany passed away this February. They were instantly surprised and overcome with emotion. They said that they too sometimes called He Xinyi "Grace" because a dear friend of theirs said Xinyi was too hard to pronounce and that she should be called Grace because she was a testimony to God's grace. As you can imagine, we all knew then and their that our red thread connections had come together as only God could have planned and accomplished.

Across the world we have traveled to find love, hope, friendship, family, generosity, faith, kindness and most of all Grace.

A Day in Beijing

We did our historical tour of Beijing today. We went to Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City, and the Great Wall of China. It was a big change from last time when we were freezing. This time it was hot and humid. Another big change is all the beautiful flowers planted everywhere as part of the "clean up Beijing" Olympic mission.

I am sad to report that the Starbucks in the Forbidden City is now gone. While I think it best not to have a symbol of American excess and over consumption in the ancient Forbidden City, the lost irony is missed. Plus, hot coffee was not nearly as attractive to us as it was in 2005, given that it was 60+ degrees warmer this trip.

Here is a picture of us standing in front of the main entrance to the Forbidden City (we are actually still standing across the street in Tiananmen Square):

After Tiananmen Square and the Forbidden City, we went to lunch. They took us to the same restaurant that they took us to in 2005. The funny thing is that last time, I thought this restaurant was on the other side of the city (actually, I simply had no idea where it was but we had been driving around all morning). This time I realized that this restaurant is only a 15 minute walk from our Hotel. The reason we know this now is because we happened to walk past it yesterday when we were trying to walk to Chaoyang Park (which we thought was a 30 minute walk but which turned out to be more like an hour and a half -- we took a taxi). Needless to say, we are much better oriented this trip. The food was largely fried Chinese food. I think they think Americans only like fried food. After all, very little of Chinese cuisine is fried, but you would not know this from the offerings at lunch. Also, they "assumed" we all drank soda because they just brought out coke and sprite. Of course, I don't really eat fried food and I don't drink soda. Luckily, the eggplant, bell pepper, and potato side dish was delicious. Donna and I filled up on it. The spring rolls were yummy too! I skipped out on having the Peking Duck this time (I tried it last time) because I could feel my cholesterol numbers rising just looking at it on the plate.

After lunch we went to the Great Wall of China. Katrina had been looking forward to seeing the Great Wall for months. She fell asleep on the drive and we didn't think we were going to be able to wake her up. We did eventually wake her up and I'm glad she didn't miss it. Katrina wasn't up for walking too far (thank goodness), so we only walked up a small section of the wall. It is very steep and the steps are really uneven. Here is a picture of a very small portion of the Great Wall (which, if placed in a single line and including all historical portions, would wrap around the world twice!):

I told you it was steep:

Well, it is 1 a.m. in Beijing, so I think I'll call it a day. Good night.

We Have Arrived!

We arrived safely and on time to Beijing yesterday afternoon. It is now 3:10 a.m. in Beijing and Donna (my niece who is traveling with us) and I can not sleep. We stayed up for 27 hours straight to try to get on China time, but now we are wide awake. Joe and Katrina are still sleeping, so that is good for them.

We decided to venture out on our own yesterday, despite how clearly nervous it made our tour guides. Of course it was perfectly safe, we made it back without any trouble, and we had a great time. We went to Chaoyang park, which was the venue for the Olympic tennis and beach volleyball games. The park was great! It was huge and so pretty. The picture to the right shows us at the entrance to the park. As you can see, Katrina is wiped out from the trip. She never woke up again after this (and she's still asleep now). The park had a Sony exploration museum, rides, games, an exercise park, several Olympic venues, public art works, an amazing dog park, and lots of tennis courts, basketball courts and public green spaces.

The Paralympic Games are starting today, September 6th (it's September 5th for all of you). They take place a few weeks after every Olympics at the same Olympic venues. Several of the athletes were on our flight. Because of this, there is still a lot of Olympic fever here in Beijing. There are still lots of helpful information booths all around the city as well. This is handy for us, because all the workers at the information booths speak a little English. While I had big plans to learn Mandarin before this trip, the plans were not realized. I am embarrassed to say what I do know, because I know I sound silly when I say it.

While at Chaoyang Park, we came across a very large ladybug. We thought is was so cute from a distance. As we got closer we realized it was a bathroom. Because it was so cute (see the picture), and because we had been drinking lots of bottled water, we couldn't resist using the facilities. Now, in making this decision, we all concluded that this would be a great place to go because it was at an Olympic venue, so they had to have western style toilets, right? Wrong! All they had were the squatty potties. Plus, this was not a new facility built as part of the sprucing up of Beijing. As soon as we got to the entryway, we could smell the "history" of the ladybug. The smell alone was not enough to turn us away (usually it is, but we were trying to be open minded), but the absence of western toilets was too much to handle. After all, we'd been awake for 24+ hours at this point and I was afraid squatting that low on my overly tired legs was a risk I was not willing to take. The last thing I wanted on my first day in China was to have to be extracted from a very smelly hole in the ground.